Mango Shaped Space is the most creative, well written, brilliant, touching, enthralling, and all other shades of awesome YA book I have read in a long time. There seems to have been, as a brilliant friend of mine put it., a "mehpedemic" of late in YA literature. A very few things on the shelves now catch my attention, and even fewer of those turn out to be worth the read. Everything decent I've read lately is older, a couple years removed.

Nothing is truly horrible, but nothing is great, either, with a few notable exceptions. I think the era of sweet-shy-thing -meets-big-scary-boy-and-falls-in-love is over, but publishing doesn't seem to have caught up to that yet. Post-apocalyptic I could go for, but there's not much of that published yet. We're just getting over the vampire craze and now it's faeries and zombies - which are basically the same thing as vampires, from a plot perspective. As a reader, this is incredibly frustrating. I'm bored. MG and Adult and even nonfiction business management (literally...) are more interesting. (Though Adult has it's own annoying cliches).

I've been too far out of the book-loop to know what kinds of things are being acquired these days, but I sure as hell hope publishers are getting sick of the distressing damsel too. Maybe everything on the shelves now is just backlog?

In other news, there are days when I really hate being young. The majority of the time, I don't want to grow up. But there are some perks I wouldn't mind.

Driving, for instance. I've spent the last.. oh, I dunno, three hours trying to coordinate rides to an event I'm going to. This process is made easier by some wonderful friends who have their licenses... but still. If I could drive, it would be a ten minute process that consisted only of who was going to pay for gas. Grr.

Also, I need to start writing again. My head is getting all cluttered, which usually means it needs some sort of outlet. Thus, writing. It's odd, I'm realizing I write less because I like to write and more because if I DIDN'T write, I'd be a few pieces short of a jigsaw puzzle...

I am trying to start posting. Yes, again. I need RL to chill out before I can really do this, I think, but I'm going to try anyway.

I was reading a book the other day. I'm not going to name it, because I don't have positive things to say. It was a book I bought from an indie store in a small, out of the way town in WI. I didn't really want anything they had for sale, but I bought the book anyway because I wanted to support the store and because I keep thinking that trying small-name authors is a Good Thing. My theory is that there must be a lot of unappreciated talent out there, and maybe it's hidden in the small-press world.

I want to support local, small press writers. Really, I do. But it seems that every time I pick up another book by another author I've never heard of, it sucks. I hate to say that, but it's true. It seems that the small-press books are small-press for a reason. I'm torn, because as a writer I want to support other writers and I know it;s hard to get published & as a result good writers sometimes try the small-press route. But as a reader, I just want to shoot myself slogging my way through cliches, mary sue characters, boring writing, unsatisfactory endings...

Sometimes, it feels like it'd be better just to send the author an envelope of cash.

Bleh. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but it's been bothering me so it came to mind when I sat down to type. So there you are.

As a total aside, the computers-create-ADD thing is so true. I think I looked at about 6 other pages while typing this. Scary.

Meme stolen from melissa_writing I keep meaning to start posting again & this seemed as good an entry point as any, so:


Instructions:

Put an “X” next to the books you’ve read
Put a “+” next to the books you LOVE
Put a “#” next to the books you plan on reading

1. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy / Douglas Adams #
2. Kit’s Wilderness / David Almond
3. Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian / Sherman Alexie #
4. Speak / Laurie Halse Anderson X +
5. Feed / M.T. Anderson #
6. Flowers in the Attic / V.C. Andrews #
7. 13 Reasons Why / Jay Asher  #
8. Am I Blue? / Marion Dane Bauer (editor)
9. Audrey Wait! / Robin Benway
10. Weetzie Bat / Francesca Lia Block
11. Tangerine / Edward Bloor
12. Forever / Judy Blume X
13. What I Saw and How I Lied / Judy Blundell #
14. Tyrell / Coe Booth
15. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants / Ann Brashares X
16. A Great and Terrible Beauty / Libba Bray X +
17. The Princess Diaries / Meg Cabot #
18. The Stranger / Albert Camus
19. Ender’s Game / Orson Scott Card X +++++
20. Postcards from No Man’s Land / Aidan Chambers
21. Perks of Being a Wallflower / Stephen Chbosky
22. And Then There Were None / Agatha Christie X
23. Gingerbread / Rachel Cohn
24. Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist / Rachel Cohn and David Levithan ##
25. Artemis Fowl (series) / Eoin Colfer X +
26. The Hunger Games / Suzanne Collins X ++++++++++++++++++
27. The Midwife’s Apprentice / Karen Cushman
28. The Truth About Forever / Sarah Dessen #
29. Little Brother / Cory Doctorow X ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
30. A Northern Light / Jennifer Donnelly
31. Tears of a Tiger / Sharon Draper
32. The House of the Scorpion / Nancy Farmer X
33. Breathing Underwater / Alex Flinn
34. Stardust / Neil Gaiman  \ (I tried. I didn't like it)
35. Annie on My Mind / Nancy Garden X
36. What Happened to Cass McBride / Gail Giles
37. Fat Kid Rules the World / K.L. Going
38. Lord of the Flies / William Golding #
39. Looking for Alaska / John Green #
40. Bronx Masquerade / Nikki Grimes
41. Out of the Dust / Karen Hesse X
42. Hoot / Carl Hiaasen X
43. The Outsiders / S.E. Hinton X ++
44. Crank / Ellen Hopkins X+
45. The First Part Last / Angela Johnson
46. Blood and Chocolate / Annette Curtis Klause  #
47. Arrow’s Flight / Mercedes Lackey X
48. Hattie Big Sky / Kirby Larson
49. To Kill a Mockingbird / Harper Lee X++
50. Boy Meets Boy / David Levithan #
51. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks / E. Lockhart #
52. The Giver / Lois Lowry X
53. Number the Stars / Lois Lowry X
54. Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie / David Lubar
55. Inexcusable / Chris Lynch
56. The Earth, My Butt and Other Big, Round Things / Carolyn Mackler
57. Dragonsong / Anne McCaffrey
58. White Darkness / Geraldine McCaughrean
59. Sold / Patricia McCormick
60. Jellicoe Road / Melina Marchetta #
61. Wicked Lovely / Melissa Marr  X+++++++++ (And I'm not filling up the page. But I think you know...)
62. Twilight / Stephenie Meyer X
63. Dairy Queen / Catherine Murdock
64. Fallen Angels / Walter Dean Myers
65. Monster / Walter Dean Myers
66. Step From Heaven / An Na
67. Mama Day / Gloria Naylor
68. The Keys to the Kingdom (series) / Garth Nix #
69. Sabriel / Garth Nix #
70. Airborn / Kenneth Oppel #
71. Eragon / Christopher Paolini X
72. Hatchet / Gary Paulsen X
73. Life As We Knew It / Susan Beth Pfeffer X
74. The Golden Compass / Phillip Pullman  X
75. Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging / Louise Rennison X
76. The Lightning Thief / Rick Riordan X ++++++
77. Always Running: La Vida Loca / Luis Rodriguez
78. How I Live Now / Meg Rosoff #
79. Harry Potter (series) / J.K. Rowling X ++
80. Holes / Louis Sachar X
81. Catcher in the Rye / J. D. Salinger / (reading now)
82. Push / Sapphire
83. Persepolis / Marjane Satrapi
84. Unwind / Neil Shusterman X++
85. Coldest Winter Ever / Sister Souljah
86. Stargirl / Jerry Spinelli #
87. Chanda’s Secrets / Allan Stratton
88. Tale of One Bad Rat / Brian Talbot
89. Rats Saw God / Rob Thomas
90. Lord of the Rings / J.R.R. Tolkien X
91. Stuck in Neutral / Terry Trueman
92. Gossip Girl / Cecily Von Ziegesar X ---
93. Uglies / Scott Westerfeld X
94. Every Time a Rainbow Dies / Rita Williams-Garcia
95. Pedro and Me / Judd Winick
96. Hard Love / Ellen Wittlinger
97. American Born Chinese / Gene Luen Yang X
98. Elsewhere / Gabrielle Zevin X
99. I am the Messenger / Markus Zusak  #
100. The Book Thief / Markus Zusak X++++

Realization: I need to read a LOT of these books. Soon.

(These were Melissa's additions & I agree with almost all of them so I'm keeping them) BOOKS I THINK NEED TO BE THERE (so I'm adding them):
101. Wintergirls/ L. H. Anderson ###
102. The Graveyard Book/ N Gaiman X +++++
103. The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing/ MT Anderson X +++
104. I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone/ S Kuehnert X +
105. Valiant H Black ##
106. Reposessed/ AM Jenkins ##
107. Keeping You a Secret/ Julie Ann Peters X +++
108. War for the Oaks/Emma Bull #
109. Story of a Girl/ Sara Zarr #
110. Rules of Survival Nancy Werlin / (reading now)
111. The adoration of Jenna Fox/ Mary Pearson X +++
112. Graceling/ Kristin Cashore X+++++++++++++++

Books I (Maria) Think Need To Be There:

113. Maximum Ride/James Patterson X+
114. Eyes like Stars/Lisa Mantchev ######
115. Bloody Jack/L.A. Meyer X+++++
116. The Forest of Hands and Teeth/Carrie Ryan X++
117. Vampire Academy/Richelle Mead X+
118. Ink Exchange/Melissa Marr X+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

How about you all? Add a couple to the end of the list...

I spent much of the day yesterday sitting in front of an open notebook, holding a pencil. Apparently, this does not count as actual writing, because I only have 1k or so more. I'm perplexed by what to do about this. The desire to write is there, but the words aren't. And when I try to force them, they are bad words. It's not writers block, not exactly, because if I sit there long enough, something will come. I get one or two paragraphs per hour. Which isn't a great return on the time investment, to tell the truth.

OTOH, we went out for desert last night & the people watching was worth every moment of time spent in that resturant. There was this fabulous old man across from us, wearing everything I'd expect to see on a proper english gentleman except the hat and monocle. (And I kept expecting him to pull one of those out.) The folks behind us were having an interesting discussion on virginity & two booths down, two men were meeting who I swear were secret gay lovers.  Over at the bar, two women were having this wonderful fight... good input. I love watching this stuff.

While I was not staring aimlessly off into space, I was reading The Adoration of Jenna Fox, which I have been meaning to read for some time. It was beautiful, stunning, quite amazing. Though I'm a little late to jump on that particular bandwagon, I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it yet.

Oh, and the chicks arrived! Off to go watch them some more. I love them when they're all cute and fluffy. Large & pecky, not so much.

.. is that if I don't actually do an "I'm back" post I might actually stick around for a little while. We'll see.

Went to a Melissa Marr event today. She's six kinds of fabulous, even tired & worn out on tour. There were, of course, six thousand things I was meaning to ask her, but they went right out of my head the moment I saw her & we ended up talking about everything but the things I had planned to ask. Which was okay, too, but I still have questions as a result . ^_^

I've been feeling rather unproductive lately. Not tired, or burned out, or incapable. Just unproductive. I've not had any real desire to do the things I know need doing. Motivation is completely gone. So here I am on LiveJournal, writing about it.

I wonder if it might be good for me, in some ways. I'm told this is the way a lot of teens feel, most of the time. Feel like there's plenty of things to do, and plenty of reasons to do them - but none of those things are useful or productive. I suddenly want to hang out with friends I havent seen in ages, read a magazine, Stumble a bit... what has happened? Most of my life has been about wanting to move up up up. School, big projects, goals set higher than is reasonable just for the thrill of trying to reach them - these things have defined my existence for as long as I can remember. Those, and taking care of people.

But schools been boring me, my big projects and goals sit unattended to, and I'm feeling like people can deal with their own bullshit, because I've got enough of my own, thanks. My friends tell me this is healthy. My parents tell me it's okay to stop pushing, for once. But I am just confused. How do I do this not-stressed thing? I think that's what it is - relaxation. Nothing stressing me, nothing needing a big push to finish. I havent felt like this since I was ten years old. I think I like it. But it's also kinda scary...

I'm not sure that made any sense. I'm too distracted to tell if it did. But it makes sense to me, and maybe that's all that counts :)

Sorry to be so absent. I have been drowning in RL - getting so very very stressed out. My Vocal Chord Dysfunction has come back - & w/ me, VCD is my body telling me that I am stressed beyond capacity. I need to see a therapist, but we're trying to conserve cash & we just don't have the money right now.

So I'm doing what I can & part of that is trimming back to the necessities. Unfortunately, LJ may have to go. Or I'll resort to microblogging. We'll see. Either way, I do miss you all.

*hugs*

I feel like the eye of a hurricane. I am busybusybusy, and absolutely calm. Everything inside is so still, while tsunamis threaten on the outside.

I think I like it.

In other corners, I spend the four hours I was supposed to be using to do some of tomorrows school work to write a freaking dissertation on the worldly applications of Madisonian theory. No one will ever read this & it accomplished nothing, but it made me feel better. If nothing else, I still have all my quirks.

Off to finish writing forum policy for R&R... one of these days I will figure this whole admin thing out. Honest.

slightly unorderly pondering ahead...

( muttering about silences and knowing )

 This Twitter thing is not so good for LJ blogging. It's just so much easier. But I am far too ranty to ever abandon LJ completely. :) 

We went to the La Quinta art fair today. It's one of the top art fairs in the country - and well deserving of that title. It's HUGE, and the artists are talented beyond measure. I didn't see almost a single display/booth that didn't capture my attention.

But what I really found grabbing me were the photographs of people. Some looking straight at the camera, some captured as they went about their daily lives... I found myself asking questions about these people. Who are they? How do they live? What is their story?

It is that final question that has always moved me to write. Who is this person, and what is their story? I find myself overflowing with ideas tonight. I want to  write them all. Each face has a whole history behind it. Those laugh lines. The shaded eyes. The scar just under the ear. The smile. I want to tell that story. 

Art has always been my primary source of inspiration. I go to art fairs, art crawls, museums - and just drink it all in. Sometimes, there is a thought that strikes me so suddenly I have to sit down in the museum floor and scribble for a bit. But far more often, it is like this. A steady whirlwind of thoughts, images, emotions, ideas, that swirls in my mind for days. I let it settle. And then, when it comes time, it bears fruit. 

There is so much to be said for this. When the soul is fed, it can offer a little more to the world. 

  Because, hey, I'm on vacation, and a full post takes work. 

1. I want - need- to write. It's like an itch I can;t quite scratch. I dunno if it's vacation that does this to me, or experiences in nature, but it happens every year when we come out here. Once my soul is fed, it has something it wants to give back, I think. I love this feeling.

2. Finished The Forest of Hands and Teeth. Everything everyone said about it is absolutely true. It's a gem. She even managed to make present-tense work, and I typically hate present tense writing.

3. My goal when I get home? Ten lbs off by June. I feel so uncomfortable out here. 
 
4. If anyone so much as mentions the words "Financial crisis" to me again, I just may shoot them. If all the energy that's been put into whining about this had ben repurposed and used to work on the solution, there would BE no crisis. Shut up and be grateful you have what you do. 

5.  Facebook is driving me crazy. Cheers to LJ for not repurposing the entire site once a month. 

 We arrived safely last night after a long and bumpy flight. The weather has been cooler than I'd like, but still warm enough. I'm told that it's snowing back home, and I'm deriving a kind of malicious pleasure from this. 

Since we've not yet done anything interesting & I tend to be bored by travel posts anyway, I'll leave the vacation bit at that for now. 

There is something that's been bouncing around my head for a few days, after a discussion my dad and I had. It started with me mentioning that YA fiction is getting much, much darker. I was pleased about this; he was upset. When I asked why, all he could say was that it was sad that something that had ben a respite from all the "Dark fiction"/"Dark fantasy" was finally succumbing to it. He went on to say that he simply did not see the point of dark literature. Why? Why must everything be so dark, when real life is actually much lighter than what such fiction would lead us to believe. Most of us have had bad things happen, true, but how many of us have multiple murders/rapes/beatings/mental breaks in our everyday lives? Not many. So what is the attraction of creating those in literature? Wouldn't we want something that adds beauty to our lives- a novel of beauty? 

At the time, I argued with him, partly because I enjoy dark fiction, but mostly just because I love to argue. However, the idea didn't end with the argument, for me. Why, indeed? Why do we love the dark fiction? Why do we enjoy things, create things even, that normalize murder, rape, torture -- evil? It struck me that there is far more literature focused on bad things, truly bad things, than there is literature focused on good things, beautiful things. It seems odd that we would form things that are not what we truly want. I am coming at this from the point of view of someone who loves to read dark fantasy & has written plenty of it herself, and yet I am at a loss for a reason. Some of it I can explain as metaphor, or drawing contrast, or getting in touch with the darker side of our natures. But when does it all become too much? Culture is in large part formed by it's art. When do we move from allowing for the darkness in our lives to creating or perpetuating a society of nothing but sex, hate, and violence?

Why indeed do we read and write dark fiction? And when is it too much?   

This has been rolling around in my mind for days. I haven't yet found an answer, but it's affected my reading. I didn't buy several books that I  would otherwise have purchased because they suddenly seemed too heavy to me. I am suddenly finding myself longing for a book that chronicles something good, beautiful, pure. I am not saying it can't have conflict, but must there be so much evil? I know I will find my own answer eventually, though it may not be this week, or this year, or this decade. But in the meantime, as readers and writers of dark fiction, what are your thoughts?  

A neighbor went snowboarding yesterday. He fell, hit his head, and is in a coma. They don't know if he's going to live.

I have no idea what to say. How quickly everything can change. How suddenly everything we thought was real, and solid, and given can be destroyed. How small and flimsy we are against the forces of the universe.

It reminds me that sometimes there is nothing we can do but live in the moment. Every second, every breath, is precious. Work can wait. All the things we do to waste our time; facebook, aim, TV, texting- can wait. Our dreams should be first. The things we love to do should be first. Life isn't getting any longer. If you were to die tomorrow, what dream would you fulfil today? We can live each moment so fully, so joyfully, so perfectly that not a one of us dies young. If we have the courage to laugh loud, play hard, love without reservation -- just be.

Prayers for Caleb would be appreciated.

I now have a twitter and this song has been stuck in my head for the past two days. I have no idea how this happened. I don't even like techno.

Because a full post is beyond my mental powers at the moment.

1. I saw the Lyme doc yesterday. My Lyme signal was at 10,000 when I first saw him in January. After two months of treatment, it's at 50. In other words, I have two to three more months of treatment, and then I am DONE. I have to say, having Lyme has been a real eye-opener in terms of the things the medical community does to screw up people's lives. Some of it is incompetent doctors and systems, some corrupt ones, but it all has the same effect - people are dying, or living in hell because of the failings of traditional medicine. More on that later.For now, I'm going to be grateful I  do not have to number myself among the victims.

2. I and a few other girls were asked to do a radio show on Twilight for National Women's Day (Sunday). I am rereading Twilight in preparation, and am finding myself bored out of my mind. I enjoyed Twilight the first time I read it. I am puzzled by this...

3. I just discovered that if I am to hit my reading goal for this year, I will have to read 50 books in the month of March. Hmm.

4. I just typed a sentence that included the word "thy". My sister, earlier today, said "How dost thou cook these, anyway?" in all seriousness, and my entire family has fallen into the habit of quoting Shakespeare randomly. Shakespeare FTW! Also, have I mentioned how much I adore these people?

5. I had a physical therapy appointment today. I kind of love my PT... she'll stick her hands under my bra for several minutes & then insist on leaving the room so I can change shirts.

 Even if I feel like I just crawled out of a crypt, I am alive and here. And, hopefully, will be actually present on LJ now. 

The Short List:

• Play is over, and went absolutely wonderfully. A woman from the Guthrie (one of the best theateres in the Twin Cities) saw it & apparently said it was the best highchsool Shakespeare production she'd ever seen. Score! :) 
• Lyme treatment seems to be working. I still have symptoms, but I have way more energy and can concentrate again. I am happier than I can begin to articulate. 
• As of last check, Mom is cancer-free. Have had another diagnosis come up, but cancer is dealt with for the moment. Again, so freaking pleased. 
• We re surviving the economy so far. Dad still has work & aside from all the medical expenses we've been racking up, we're pretty steady for now. 

All in all, I am happy, healthy, and very very grateful to be so. (Aside from the Cold of Doom I've managed to catch, but that will pass.) Catch me up; what's new in your lives?

 Seriously. Indulge me. I can't vote. But this is my future. These people are holding my future in their hands and they're not following obvious economical truths for the sake of politics.  I can't do a damn thing about it, and it kills me. But I CAN ask everyone else to do what they can. And so I am. Watch this. 



I know she's not unbiased media. But, in this case, she's right. All economists without a political stake agree with what she's saying here.  Think about that, and then consider this: if this bill works, the Democrats win. They keep power, and the popular support. If, on the other hand, it is somehow rendered ineffective, and the economy continues to fail, the Republicans have a pretty damn good talking point going into the 2010 elections, and can continue to regain power. Now, who might have the bigger incentive for rendering the stimulus ineffective by filling it with certain expenditures which have been proven ineffective as economic stimulus?

Just sayin'.

I haven't died yet, truly. I'm still swamped with rehearsal & Lymes things, but I thought I'd pop my head in for a few moments to catch up as well as I can. 

We've found someone who treats Lymes, and he is GOOD. I've been seeing him for under a month and I'm already feeling so much better. It's truly amazing, I feel like I'm starting to get my life back. The side effects are nasty, but underneath them, I have more energy, I'm able to focus better, and there's no more nasuea or dizzyness. It's the most incredible feeling in the world. He's said that he should be able to get rid of it completely by the end of February to mid March, and I believe him. 

Love's Labour's Lost - and thus, rehearsal- is over at the end of Feb. as well, so I'm hoping to fully reappear in March. 

Oh, and a note to writers out there: there is nothing like acting to teach you about character development. 

What's new in your lives?

Miss you all!

I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease today. I am very very happy to have an answer, and the man who diagnosed it also has a treatment plan I'm to be starting Monday. Unfortunately, the side effects of that treatment, along with the fact that it's efficacy is decreased by computer usage is going to keep me still offline/posting sporadically thru February. I miss you all.

Hope everyone's well.

I'm still to be offline, but I had to share this:

We are pleased to announce a holiday charity auction going on now through December 22nd. You can bid on eight gorgeous Wicked Lovely-inspired jewelry pieces created and donated by Rather Pheona. The ebay auction can be found here, and you can see other pictures of all items here All proceeds will be going to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

A huge thanks to Pheona!

And don't forget to check out Rather Lovely's, also featuring Wicked Lovely apparel by the lovely Pheona and benefiting the National Domestic Violence Hotline.